


Tommy’s Diary

by FancyNancy504



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dream Team SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Depression, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minecraft, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyNancy504/pseuds/FancyNancy504
Summary: If Tommy had kept a diary in exile...this is what I imagine it would look like.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 89





	Tommy’s Diary

12/4/2020  
Today I was exiled. Today my best friend looked me in the eyes and told me that I didn’t matter. Today I lost everything. 

Dream took all of my things and left me in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a dirt shack. He tried to give me pity things but I wouldn’t let him. Ghostbur has been hanging around. I appreciate him, but he’s not real company. He’s not Tubbo...but then again I don’t even know if I know Tubbo anymore. He seemed like a different person. 

I can’t be too mad though, I know this won’t last forever and my friends will visit. I just have to keep my head up.

12/5/2020  
First full day in exile...not the greatest. Dream took my armor again and told me I won’t ever be allowed back home. I will think of something. I will. I can’t go back without Dream’s permission or he’ll kill me, so I’m going to make a path for people to come visit me. It’s a work in progress. 

Today I did wonder if this is worth it, seeing as I’m all alone now, but Dream snapped me out of it. 

I just wish Tubbo would come. I miss my friends.

12/7/2020  
We finished the connection path through the nether today. Now it’s easy for everyone to come see me. And by ‘we’, I mean myself and Dream. He still takes my armor, but he’s also been helping me and been the only one around...so I guess I can’t complain too much. 

Exile sucks. Who am I kidding? No one has visited me, or if they did, it was just out of pity or to make themselves feel better. Tubbo hasn’t even come. 

Speaking of Tubbo, Ghostbur gave me a compass that always leads me back to Tubbo, so I can never lose him. It means a lot to me. I keep it in my enderchest so no one can take it. 

I’m really tired out here. It’s really hard to keep pushing on. There’s nothing left for me to fight for anymore...everything I’ve ever working toward is gone. But a part of me still hopes this will all end. I guess. 

12/8/2020  
I’ve had an amazing idea today! Since Dream and I finished the nether path, it’s really easy for people to come visit me. So I thought I should throw a beach party. Dream helped me set everything up and Ghostbur is going to invite everyone. I’m very excited! This is the best I’ve felt in days. 

On another note, I thought I saw Tubbo today. Ghostbur saw him too, but Dream didn’t. I don’t know if he was real or not. The real Tubbo would’ve said hi...right? He still hasn’t come to see me or even talk to me. I don’t know anymore.

But my friends will come tomorrow for the party! Whether Tubbo comes or not, at least I won’t be so alone. 

12/9/2020  
I don’t really feel like talking today. 

12/11/2020  
I think...I think Dream might be my only friend. 

It’s getting really hard out here. I feel like no one cares. I also keep pushing everyone away. I don’t mean to, I just start questioning everything when someone is nice or starts talking to me. Do they mean it? Are they just pitying me? Are they just around cause they feel guilty? I don’t want to get hurt again...

I don’t know if this is worth it. Only one person in my life is consistent now, and that person used to be my enemy. 

There’s a weight in my chest that won’t go away. I just want to go home. Why did I have to be so stupid?

12/12/2020  
Everything hurts. I’m confused, alone, and I can’t think straight. I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there. It’s getting really hard to get up in the morning. The only thing that gives me some semblance of time are Dream’s visits. And I never thought I’d say this, but I almost have fun when Dream is around. He doesn’t pity me or treat me different.

I miss how things were. I really miss Tubbo. I miss Wilbur, before he went crazy. I miss home. But, should I? No one cares about me, so if I went home now, would that change? I don’t know. Thinking about what can’t happen isn’t worth it. 

I did have a dream last night. I dreamed that I died. I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently...Ghostbur said death wasn’t that bad. It would be easier. 

12/14/2020  
I don’t think I have long left. I just don’t feel well. The weight in my chest has only gotten worse, and it hurts. 

I had a visitor today, but it didn’t help. 

I think Dream understands. He’s the only one who understands...

Maybe I can make it, but I don’t feel like trying anymore. I feel abandoned. The dream that I had won’t leave my head. Jumping would be so easy. 

12/17/2020  
Tubbo,

I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I’ll regret that mistake forever. I hope one day you can forgive me. But if you can’t, I understand. 

The last couple of days here have been nice. I watched some dolphins play. The dolphins remind me of you, Tubbo. So carefree and happy...one of them even got stuck once and it looked like that time I trapped you in a box. Remember that? Tubbox? That makes me smile. 

Did you know Ghostbur was never given a grave? I made him one next to my home. I made it close so that I can be next to him. I hope you come visit us sometimes. You can use your compass! It’ll always point to right here. 

Anyway, I have to go now, Tubbo. Keep L’manburg safe, okay? It’s in good hands. 

I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend for you. 

-Your Tommy


End file.
